Sunday, August 22, 2004
I stand mortified. Horrified. Purely and truely traumatized. This evening I was in the kitchen composing a culinary masterpiece of hotdogs and Easy Mac when I noticed something wriggling on the floor. What the....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK??????
Second only to the horror of perhaps finding a rotting zombie hobbling towards me in my kitchen, maggots. Oh my god, I fight retching even now just writing about it and fuck you if you think I am being a drama queen...THERE WERE FUCKING MAGGOTS CRAWLING AROUND IN MY FUCKING KITCHEN!
After bolting out of the kitchen like a bat out of hell and shaking off the violent heebie jeebies, I persuaded (high pitched frantic cries) my boyfriend to go in and clean them off the floor. Once that was done, I looked everywhere to figure out where they could be coming from. OK, magically out of nowhere maggots crawl out from under my stove at the same time for no apparent reason...backtrack, Rachel. Get a grip. Boiling hot dogs for 20 minutes on stove...made stove hot...maggots=rotting something nearby...last time the oven was used = day of housewarming party when I cooked pork tenderloin for my boyfriend and brother...did my brother remove the pork tenderloin from the oven?
It was a scene out of a B movie horror flick...my trembling hand reaching out in front of me towards the oven door...in slow motion...breath coming quickly...yanks oven door open and *Psycho shower scene music* maggots all over the week old meat in the oven.
*GAG*
*GAG*
*cough cough*
*GAG*
In the name of all that is Holy....WHHHHYYYYYYYYY?????
4 Comments:
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