ground control to rachel...earth to rachel...come in...over.

Busting caps in Suzanne Somers butt

I'm not usually one to nap. It's not that I don't like it or want to, it's that it is rare that I can. I don't sleep or drink alcohol during the day. Weird huh? Just...can't. Well, when you have a baby and are completely sleep deprived, you learn to sleep when the baby sleeps. Not every day, most days I use the time she is sleeping to clean the house, do the laundry or try to get some marketing or Photoshop work done but today, I took a nap. No, no, fuck that, I fucking SLEPT. Hard. The kind of sleep when you wake up with a sleep headache and a pool of drool on the pillow. Groggy, I looked at the clock, he let me sleep for two hours! Sweet! As I lifted my dear girl up to feed her, the dream I had while napping unfolded in my head. It was so clear. I was living la vida loca, man! I was slangin', had painted on eyebrows and was even wearing low oversized Dickie's. I went to the store and was browsing the isles when Suzanne Somers ran into me with a shopping cart and then started yelling at me! Going on about "YOU PEOPLE" and yelling as she stomped past me...so I shot her in the butt.

I told Sean the story and he said, "Thighmaster won't fix that shit."

In other news, I am not sure I want to know the answer to this question but what is bukkake? I've heard it on Howard Stern, not sure what it means and I get spammed with porn junkmail and sometimes open them, this one said: Big d1ck bukkake with girls next door. Makes me pose the question once more, What is bukkake? If it is going to be anything like finding out what CREAM PIES are, for the love of all that is holy, do not tell me. I am still traumatized. *gag*

posted by Rachel @ 5:09 PM