Frienemies
I find it ironic that after I write about my Code of Sisterhood (which has taken me 15 years to organize into coherent thoughts, mind you) I have a weekend full of code breaking traitors, directly and indirectly.
I am not going to bore you all with details but after spending a considerable amount of time on the phone with a friend of mine, hearing about her code breaking friend and repeatedly doling out my insightful and incredibly valuable advice *ahem* (which typically consists of no more than the simple yet effective “Fuck that."), it suddenly occurred to me, these Code Breakers are one of two types.
The Insecure Attention Monger:
These girls put all else aside when men are around. It doesn’t matter if they are their men or someone else’s men, including your man, who happens to be off limits obviously. The flirtation, sexual innuendos, spike in talkativeness, suggestive displays of cleavage and bedroom eyes all go into active play for attention from men, at any cost, including upsetting their own girlfriends.
The Conniving Competitor:
This one is dangerous because she doesn’t need the attention from guys to make herself feel better; she needs to make sure she has beaten you in her imaginary competition. She will even resort to making comments to embarrass you in front of other people or not tell you that you have pepper stuck between your front teeth. She competes because when you are down, it makes her feel superior.
Any way you dice it, it sucks. Grow the fuck up or back the fuck up.
Have you heard the saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" I know women who play by this rule. A good friend of mine has a ton of friends, I’ve never known someone who knows so many goddamn people but she has only a handful she trusts. I hear about some of the things these girls do to her and I am floored that she would even call them Friends. She said, “I don’t, they’re frienemies. You can’t keep an eye on them if they aren’t close by.”
Hmmm. I can respect that but…uhhh…Fuck that. If I know I cannot trust a person, I don’t want them anywhere near me. Although I do know people who aren’t worth a shit and I have to keep an at least somewhat friendly front going because we share mutual friends. What a pain in the ass. So for my friends, by request, I am not mean. And let’s face it, sometimes it’s fun to be mean to people who you know deserve it. Well, at least if you’re ballsy and don’t mind dishing out a little truth now and then. I find this to be a very amusing activity when I can gain a little justice for a friend who is too goddamn nice to ever stick up for herself. *sigh*
All in all, I know who my true friends are, I know I am a true friend and I cannot wait to move down to LA and be closer to the girls who are worth the energy, girls who make girlfriends worth all the goddamn trouble, girls like Kelly, Erika, Kristina and Rika. Hopefully my new friend Rachel will still be in LA or at least come back to LA so I can continue restoring her faith in girlfriends and we can bring down the fuckwits and cuntrags of Hollywood together like the Wonder Twins. *wink* Watch out for Dual Rachels...a force to be reckoned with no doubt.
I said the following to a friend last night:
If you put yourself out there and you get burned 9 times, but the 10th time you make a true friend, those 9 times you got burned were worth it. It’s just a matter of how many times you are going to allow each of those other 9 to burn you.
Rachel has spoken. That is all.
posted by Rachel @ 10:54 AM
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