And I'm Aching
I’ve got the PMS. I feel like something died in my uterus.
Have you ever seen American Werewolf in London? If so, you know the part where David turns into a werewolf and is running through the busy streets of London gnashing his teeth at everyone he passes? Yeah, that’s me but sans the hairy back (thank you Schick Quatro).
So by request, a public service announcement:
Kamikaze Recipe
1 part vodka (I only use Absolut or Grey Goose because I drink so much vodka, I am allowed to be a snob about it)
1 part Triple Sec
2 parts Sweet & Sour
Squeeze half a lime in there and toss the carcass (of the lime, not the carcass of the hitchhiker you murdered last summer and are keeping in your grandma's extra freezer in the garage) in the shaker thingy
Now the whole “part” thing is open to interpretation. One part to me was one plastic party cup but you could very well use a milk carton if you are really feeling like you could use a few.
Make sure you have the shaker thingy half filled with ice & then shake the ever loving shit out of it for about 15 seconds. Note: If you are using a metal shaker and your hands are kind of wet from the ice or booze, wrap the shaker thingy in a towel otherwise you’re hand will stick to the metal like the Christmas Story’s kid’s tongue on the pole. Fucking hurts and it is embarrassing when you are trying to be Joe Cool Bartender.
There are lots of fancier recipes but like my daddy always says K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid. You know he said that so much that I was 13 before I realized my first name wasn’t Stupid. He also used to say “You’re so full of shit your eyes are brown.” Now I always wear colored contacts when I go out, go figure. Oh another one he loves is “I’ve done so much with so little for so long, I can do practically anything with nothing and still have something left over.” I like that one personally, just like the way it rolls off your tongue in a trailer park love your local redneck kind of way.
So happy Kamikaze’ing and don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya'.
Now I am going to go to Baskin Robbins for a sundae, order a pizza, get in bed, turn on my electric blankie, & watch Party Monster.
Nighty nite kiddies & remember, mama loves ya'.
posted by Rachel @ 5:37 PM
3 Comments:
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