Thursday, September 30, 2004



Photoshoot: September 29, 2004
Model: Kelly

CLICK IT

Would love your comments...I think it's my best work yet...

posted by Rachel @ 2:01 PM 4 Comments

Wednesday, September 29, 2004



What a difference a lens makes...



posted by Rachel @ 8:15 PM 3 Comments

Monday, September 27, 2004


When in doubt, ROCK OUT!

So I was feelin a little weepy and sorry for myself for no reason this morning. Eh, I'm over it. You know what's funny is that for some reason girls take dreams to heart. I don't know a guy who wakes up pissed off at his significant other for cheating in a dream. Heh.

Popped in a little JUDAS PRIEST and rocked myself into organization mode. I got half of my walk in closet cleared out for the boyfriend (*SOB* MY CLOSET!!!) and most of the little things off the carpet and in the bathtub to make room for the CARPET GUYS tomorrow! That's right! My new carpet is FINALLY coming. I can't wait! I am going to roll around naked on it when it's done!

Mental Notes:

Things not to do in the morning:

1. Eat ravioli. (bad juju)
2. Mistake foot cream for face cream. (ick. burns eyes)
3. Use vibrator before taking kid to school. (really embarrassing when kid goes HEY MOM WHAT'S THAT BIG WHITE THING ON YOUR BED FOR??...cannot come up with witty coverup at 8:00 am)
4. Math. (self explanitory)

posted by Rachel @ 2:01 PM 4 Comments


I woke up crying this morning with zero recollection of what I was dreaming about. My pillow was wet with tears in one spot where you can actually make out the outline of the side of my face. Eventhough I don't remember the dream, I am in a strange mood. I dropped the boy off at school and came back to this empty house. Feeling out of sorts. Feeling like I wanna kick rock and cry some more for some reason. Ahhhh the splendors of having your period.

posted by Rachel @ 9:30 AM 3 Comments

Sunday, September 26, 2004


Really gotta stop partying so hard that we end up at porn shops at 3 am buying whippets, ULOs (unidentified lubricated objects), and hosiery.

Head hurts.

Must lay down on couch and become vegetable.

posted by Rachel @ 3:53 PM 2 Comments

Wednesday, September 22, 2004



Hold the fucking phone. There is a disturbance in the force. If you've been reading my blog since April, you know that I had my boobs done. Well, they are still relatively new but my left implant is starting to feel weird. This is not good. I went in with the plan of switching to silicone once they perfected the safety standards because silicon is so much lighter and feels so much more natural but saline is safer. Well ain't it my luck to have one hardening up on me. I have resorted to pushing my body weight against the implant either against a wall or on the floor. I hope I don't pop the fucker. Now I am subconsiously squeezing my left boob all the time and not realizing that um Hi this isn't NORMAL behavior in public. I need to get a Sharpie and scrawl DO NOT FEEL YOURSELF UP IN PUBLIC on the top of my right hand.

I'll add that to the TO DO list as soon as I find it. I know it's buried under this mess somewhere...

posted by Rachel @ 10:05 PM 3 Comments



This just brings a whole new meaning to the word DUMBASS:

WTF

And I thought I missed out on not going to college out of high school.

posted by Rachel @ 8:43 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, September 21, 2004



After purchasing that camera and those lenses, I have been on some sort of high matched only to post coital bliss. I am feelin' sassy. Randy even. I am feelin' like I need to find me a pretty girl with a big smile who I can pin down and tickle (among other things). Now if I could only find a girl-bar that plays anything OTHER than hip hop! Hrrrmmmmm...well maybe enduring hip hop won't be so bad if the chicks are hot...let me put my Rationalization Cap on and get back to ya on this one.

posted by Rachel @ 5:33 PM 0 Comments

For Photography Enthusiasts...



If you aren't into photography...excuse the huge images but if you are, you know why I am posting the largest pics I can find of them. Prepare to cream...

Today I spent the morning online searching prices for the new Canon 20D which is the best in it's class for professional photographers who cannot afford a $5,000 camera. And today I was weak...thanks to my handy dandy platinum card and being completely justifiably irresponsible, I purchased:









No longer will my images be blurred or distorted. I have LENSES now! And a real professional camera! *sobs* I am just...I can't...there are no words.

posted by Rachel @ 1:29 PM 3 Comments

Monday, September 20, 2004



If you haven't been to the...



then you need to.

Holy Fathoms Batman.

Do the Ghost Tour and the submarine tour. Fucking cool!

This was before the Ghost Tour:


Aren't we the happy duo?

This was after:


Uhhh I think he was a little traumatized. Don't worry I took him to Ameoba and bought him a DVD. When in doubt or guilt-ridden, buy them stuff. It actually works.

He wasn't thrilled. Sure, at first he was Mr. I Don't Believe in Ghosts but then he was plastered against my leg for the duration of the tour where they take you down 6 fathoms (no idea how deep that is but it sounds cool...say it...c'mon, outloud: Fathoms. Cool.) beneath sea level and describe in detail some of the deaths in the boat over the last sixty years. I didn't know the Queen Mary was used as a transport ship during WWII. At one time she carried SIXTEEN THOUSAND men. I can't even fathom what it would be like to be in a confined area with that many people. I can't even deal with a crowded elevator.

Not to mention being in the ship in what I can only compare to being inside a fucking iron safe and feeling it rock and shift, then hearing creaking and breaking...then seeing THIS:


The water coming in, the doors swinging shut and locking, people rushing around screaming, the water level rising, you know you are going to die. Just makes me appreciate being in my safe little condo with my chicken enchilada soup and dry land outside.

After the Ghost Tour, we needed a drink. I read somewhere that there was this popular drink called A Stinger. Looks like this:


Fucking grossest drink I have ever had the displeasure of sipping. I made it half way through just because I never can justify wasting $8 on a drink when the curious triple aftertaste started to render verps...I had to upchuck. An alcholoic beverage is not supposed to burn your stomach, folks. I think all of the posh trendy assholes who drink stingers and manhattans are all crazy assholes. Those drinks would put hair on the Olson Twins chests.

The ship has all kinds of cool shit on it. Of course being a photographer I took more obscure pictures than touristy Hey Look at us on The Queen Mary pics so if you aren't big on obscure photos, well then fuck you. I'm posting 'em.


Holy Sea Muck, Batman!


Giganormous chains. Wicked. Seriously, these chains were HUGE. Each chain link was about as big as my ass and that's pretty big.


Russian submarine. Funny though, the tour guide (strictly on tape blaring over loud speakers as you get to inch around inside the confined steamy space) was irish? Clearly an irish accent trying to do a russian accent. Pretty funny.


This is where they put the torpedos. Torpedo. Mmmmmmmmmm.


Scary spooky blue pipe light fixture!


This scared the beegeezus outta me.


I love to take pictures while facing the sun. Only I can withstand the heat and everyone else closes their eyes so they look like retards and not me. Oh look at my E.T. shadow. I wish I had a profile like that! My nose is not that big. I look like I ran into a wall but like the idea of having a prominent profile.

All Hail The Queen Mary.

posted by Rachel @ 1:29 PM 4 Comments

Wednesday, September 15, 2004



I swear I am like a fucking 2 year old sometimes. Everytime I check my referrers, I get a kick out of the list of search engine referrers.



LMAO

What in the name of all that is holy is a big titty boat?? Giant acrylic tits on the bow of a bayliner? And what the fuck is a miniskirt-thong and what whore wears this contraption? Squid Roe married women. Don't have to guess what that's about but seriously you don't need to go to Cabo to find two timing married trollips to bang. Man, the crap people search on the internet.

Ahhh I needed that to recover from humiliation at my son's school earlier. Not only was I late picking him up but I forgot to blend the concealer under my eyes so I was trotting around like an idiot with ivory stripes under my eyeballs. No wonder the crossing guard stepped out of my way. She probably thought I was going to tackle her.

posted by Rachel @ 11:52 PM 3 Comments



Trouble in paradise. Three words you do not want to say when you just moved your life 500 miles away to be with someone. So the best way to handle the issues we are dealing with? Move him in. I figure, Fuck it, just go for it. If it isn't going to work, I'd rather know now than later. I didn't move here for my fucking health so might as well just do it. If it doesn't work, worse case scenario: He moves out and we stay friends. God. Just being friends. *shudder* I never thought I would say it but I have finally found someone who I love so much as a friend and person that if the lover aspect fizzled, I seriously could not stomach the thought of him not in my life to laugh with, hang out with, make fun of stuff together with...he is my heart. I just don't get how someone so wrong can feel so right.

posted by Rachel @ 11:24 AM 0 Comments

Tuesday, September 07, 2004



Somehow another full year has passed in what seems like not even half that time. Technically in about 11 hours I will be 33. I know, big bad blog No-No, divuldging one's age right but I don't care. Like a fighter wears scars with pride, I wear my years with pride. I have survived too much and come too far to not appreciate it in retrospect.

You know you are getting older when birthdays no longer seem like "an event". I have no plans to end up hurling into the toilet at 3 a.m. while my friend holds my hair back so my other friend can get my face in the snapshot. Simplicity. As I get older, all I want is simplicity. KISS: KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID. All I would like is a morning birthday kiss from my little boy and an evening birthday kiss from my big boy. Hey, I'm a cheap date.

I used to feel like Hey another year, I'm young, I have time. Now I feel the need to make plans. I feel the nagging urge to set a long term goal and strive towards it. What the hell happened to me? Maybe someone should get me a bong for my birthday.

posted by Rachel @ 1:47 AM 4 Comments